I've been frustrated.  I'll admit.  Over the past couple of weeks I've been on an emotional roller coaster.  I've yelled at God.  I've cried.  I've laughed (only while watching Jim Gaffigan).  I've been thankful (every time I come home to Jennifer and Wyatt).

But last night Jennifer and I prayed together.  And the prayer started like this, "Dear God, I have some mixed emotions towards you right now, and I need you to hear us."

Steven Curtis Chapman's wife said this after their daughter died, "I don't want to be an example, I want my daughter back."  I'm there.  I don't want to be an example.  Neither does Jennifer.  We just want a baby.  But we are examples whether we like it or not.

So here is the example I want to set.  I think its ok to be upset.  To ask questions.  Pray as a couple.  Cry.  Laugh.  Be honest.  Don't be fake.  Don't bottle up your emotions.  I'm going to be the last person to pray, "Oh father, thank you for all of this struggle we are going through.  It is such a blessing."  But we ultimately must trust – hard as it may be.  And for me it has been difficult.  I have all sorts of thoughts going through my head.  But I will always be honest with God.  And I will work through the frustrations.  And I will voice my struggle with Him.  I'm sure he can handle it….He's God.

2 thoughts on “Prayer

  1. Erin

    Its ok to be frustrated when you pray. Our sermon was this exact thing on SUnday! Asking God why? We are continuing to pray for you all. God has you in His hands! 🙂

  2. Cindy Kershner

    Jeremy..I completely understand where you’re at and I’m sure God does too!! When we were told that Kelsey would likely never walk/talk or function past a 5 month old and that she is unlikely to live beyond 10 years old, that hit the heart!!..We felt like a Mac Truck just jacked us up and I won’t hold back words here, it’s life, it’s real..I’ve seen my daughter nearly die and then come back to us. God has and is still working in us, but I’ve come to realize over the last 5 years and wondering when is God going to heal our daughter that in this time he has healed us. We have our moments, but we’ve chosen to seek the find the purpose no matter how unfair the search even feels..why us, why her, why God?? The answers will only be given when we’re face to face, but the comfort and peace that we feel DESPITE our circumstances is God!! That’s where people see God..they look at us and see a smile and say that HAS to be God, because who would smile and go on with such tragedy…if you think about it, you probably know many others with similar stories..maybe different cirumstances, but common life experiences. Embrace hope and trust God..whatever happens is OK..when you can’t control it..don’t worry..give it to Him and remain as much as possible to be powerful and not pitiful..we all have pitiful moments and expressing that is VITAL..we’re not robots..we feel, we need, we want, but the truth is that God knows and understands your afflictions..He is there …He is there!!..HUGS>.Cindy

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