There is a pressure on leaders that many don’t understand. And that’s ok. We signed up for this. And when I mean leaders, you are responsible for a group of people. You don’t necessary have to be a Pastor. Maybe you are a team leader, coach, coordinator, Father, Mother, etc.

Many may scoff at this notion – that leaders have an elevated level of expectation; a heightened sense of ‘we have to get this right.’ Of course the obvious reason is everyone is looking at us. But the not so obvious reason is that God is looking at us.

In Jeremiah 5:4-5 God is looking at a nation that had rebelled against Him,

“4 I thought, “These are only the poor;
they are foolish,
for they do not know the way of the Lord,
the requirements of their God.

5 So I will go to the leaders
and speak to them;
surely they know the way of the Lord,
the requirements of their God.”
But with one accord they too had broken off the yoke
and torn off the bonds.

God was looking at the nation of Israel, disgusted at their spiritual state, and ready to pass judgement – exercise punishment for their deeds and lack of moral restraint. But He hoped that at least the leaders were where they were supposed to be with God. I think (which is dangerous, I know), that just maybe God would have spared Israel exile if the leaders had been spiritually solid. Furthermore, the verse reads that the people didn’t know the requirements of God. So God went to the leaders to see what was up. And that wasn’t good at all!

My point is, if no one else gets it, if no one else follows hard after Christ, it is still our responsibility as leaders to be the remnant. At least WE must get it right. Because God had setup this system of leadership that the people are more apt to go the way of the leader. And if the leaders get it, at least there is hope for those they lead.

If God was to come and examine your team, and if the only hope for your team fell on your spiritual status as a leader, how would you fair? Would your team be honored or would they be exiled?

One of the books we make every new employee read at Lifepoint is “The Five Dysfunctions of a Team” by Patrick Lencioni.  Why?  Because we realize that if we are going to have a great, cohesive, creative staff, they must not shy away from a challenge.  And funny enough, I have been using this ‘business’ book more an more in marriage and pre-marital counseling sessions.

The problem with many people is they think conflict is bad.  Fighting is bad.  We should all be pacifists.  I mean, even Christ said ‘blessed are the peacemakers.’  Can’t we all just get along!

Here is why we think conflict is bad… we’ve always seen it done the wrong way.  People attack people instead of issues.  We see people thrown under the bus.  Feelings are hurt.  Egos are boosted.  Ladders are climbed at the expense of the less vocal and more passive.  Personalities end up manipulating, controlling, and bullying the situation.  This not what I mean by healthy conflict.

What is healthy conflict?

• It begins with trust.  If we trust each other – that we have the best interests of the organization and each other at heart, we can trust that the brutal facts we hear are in love – and for the betterment of the organization.
• It maintains HONOR.  Romans 12:10-11 states “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love.  Honor one another above yourselves.  Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.”  There is a way to be passionate and yet HONORING AND RESPECTFUL at the same time.
• It involves everyone in the room.  We are always asking for the last 5%.  Everyone is willing to tell you 95%.  What you need is that last 5% to make an informed decision.  Those who sit silently in a staff meeting with valuable information are just as guilty as those who bully.
• It works towards a resolution, not a victory.  Conflict within an organization should be for the betterment of the organization, not our advancement.
• It is done through proper channels.  Disagree privately, not publicly – again that is an honor thing.  Think of the dichotomy of a restaurant – you have a very loud and boisterous kitchen, and a nice calm organized dining room.  Keep your conflict in the kitchen.

What is NOT health conflict.

• It is not a guarantee.  Just because you get to voice your opinion within a healthy structure does not mean you get your way.  It means your opinion was taken into account.
• It is not consensus.  Church isn’t a democracy.  And conflict should not be a means to find a way to offend everyone equally.  Because that is what consensus really is – everyone getting disappointed equally.
• It is not a gripe session.  If you have the guts to engage in health conflict, you better have the guts to engage in the solution-finding.  The worst thing in an organization is a negative ‘can’t do anything right’ culture.  It’s easy to be a critic.  It’s difficult to be part of the solution.  Take the road less traveled.
• It is not a hammer.  Think of conflict as a ladder not a hammer.  Don’t use it beat people down.  All you are trying to do in conflict is get the best possible perspective.  Health conflict is gaining healthy perspective.

Now here is the hard part.  When you are able to voice your opinion within the proper channels, in the proper way, and the leader makes the decision –  you then go with the decision.  And once the decision is made, everyone must be held to the same standard.  But I promise, if you don’t get this conflict thing down, you wont’ live up to your organizational potential.

Its just like a marriage.  Show me a marriage with no conflict, and I’ll show you a marriage with no passion.

Two weeks ago Wyatt, my oldest son (nearly 4), had his first day out with soccer.  It did not go so well.  He was overwhelmed by the amount of kids and cried and stuck to my leg the entire time.  Last week was better.  Small steps, right?

One day I thought, wouldn’t it be great to just get all of Wyatt’s friends together to have soccer each week.  We could teach them the fundamentals and he could hang out with his friends.  But then I realized that there was no fun in that at all!  There would be no games.  Just practice.  What is the point of practice if you don’t get to play?

But isn’t that like the church?  We practice, practice, practice.  But most just choose to sit on the sidelines.  We don’t serve anyone.  We don’t build authentic relationships.  We don’t invest in a person who is far from Christ.  We practice a lot.  But we never enjoy the thrill of the game.

Why?  Are we scared?  Are we lazy?  Are we comfortable?  I don’t know.  Maybe yes to some, no to others.  I’m sure it is different for all of us.

But Hebrews 12:1-2 says:

1 Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us,

2 keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured a cross and despised the shame and has sat down at the right hand of God’s throne.

I’m proud to be part of a church where 50%+ serve in some capacity.  But it doesn’t end in serving.  If you haven’t already, get in the game this Easter.  Get on a team and serve.  Drag your neighbor with you to church.

Get in the game.  It’s there that you experience the thrill of victory – not sitting on the sidelines.

Saw an interesting Oprah show the other day.

At the end of the show she had on Steve Ells, the founder and CEO of my favorite fast food chain – Chipotle.  When discussing the quality of the food, how all the meat is from pasture raised animals and the practice of buying locally grown fresh organic produce, Oprah asked, “but how can you continue to keep the quality of the ingredients and product high as you grow larger?  Aren’t you worried?”  I kid you not he said, “No, because we only do a few things and we do them really well.”  Wow.  Seems like I’ve heard that before.